Mordecai, You're Pregnant!
by KudleyFan93
Summary: (Completed one-shot!) What if Mordecai was pregnant? How would the park crew react? And most importantly, how would Mordecai cope with being a "mommy"? Obviously this is similar to a troll-fic. WARNING! M-Preg ahead! Don't like, don't even bother reading! Surprise ending with an unexpected twist!


(( **Go ahead and begin asking questions in your mind. "WTF, KudleyFan93?!" Yeah, yeah. Just please give this story a chance. I promise; at the end your questions will be answered.**** :)** ))

It was a stereotypical day at the park; anything but normal. Surreal, supernatural, sadistic, and the list goes on. Those were a few words to describe this particular day.

But nothing would be able to compare to what was about to happen next.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

The shrill screams of a supremely shocked, familiar blue jay penetrated the calm silence of the once peaceful atmosphere. How could this be true?! It couldn't be! It was impossible!

Mordecai was pregnant.

But…how?! And…overnight?!

Just…how?!

"Ugh," Rigby moaned from downstairs as he heard his friend's cries. He was currently playing a video game, losing lives faster than leaves in an autumn breeze. The raccoon hopped off of the couch and trudged up the stairs, "Let's go see what he's overreacting about this time. It's probably about Margaret or some junk."

When he opened the door to their room, Rigby sighed, "What's up, Morde- HOLY CRAP!" He gasped sharply, jabbing a finger in the direction of Mordecai's well-rounded midsection. "…You got faaaat! What have you been eating, dude?" The raccoon laughed, poking his friend's stomach. He was surprised to feel that it was very firm and something in his stomach appeared to be stirring.

"What the…?!" Rigby exclaimed. Mordecai was utterly speechless; his mind was still trying to comprehend on what he was seeing. "Dude, have you been doing something you shouldn't?"

"Rigby! Shut up! I haven't been doing that kind of stuff at all!" Mordecai bopped his furry companion on the head, earning a whine. "Okay, okay, chill…but can you at least tell me why you're preggers?" Rigby mumbled, tousling his hair. "I don't know! I just woke up this way!" Suddenly, Mordecai broke down and began to sob as he sat on the floor, his head pressed into his knees.

"Dude…why are you crying, man?" Rigby asked, both disturbed and concerned about his friend's strange behavior. "I-I don't know! I'm just feeling all of these emotions," The blue jay sniveled, wiping the burning tears out of his face. "Dude, we need to tell Benson." "No! He can't know about this. I-I don't even know if I'm pregnant or not! I probably just have a pot-belly from pigging out on those movie theater snacks last week."

As if on cue, a small hand pressed from behind Mordecai's stomach, leaving a small wing print. Mordecai clutched his life-filled orb and grunted a bit, "Augh. Maybe I am pregnant….why are you taking this so well?" "Eh, I've seen creepier. Although this takes the cake." Rigby smirked.

Mordecai glared daggers at him. Rigby put up his hands defensively, "Whoa, whoa. Don't get all hostile on me. Maybe having your own kid could be fun. Like, if it's a boy, we could teach it how to play video games or something." He shrugged. Mordecai rolled his eyes, "What if it's a gi- Oh man, now I'm just talking crazy! This is ridiculous! I might not even be pregnant. I'm gonna go call a doctor."

"Whatever, man. Just try and lay off on the snacks for a while, kay?" Rigby said as he turned to walk out of the room, immediately sensing a glare from his friend as he did so. Mordecai sighed and looked down at his bulging stomach. "What the heck happened last night…" He moaned, putting a wing to his temple.

"That's it; I'm calling a doctor. This is too weird." Mordecai stood up and moaned again as he felt a sudden stab of pain in his back. "Ugh! Ow!" He muttered, wincing. "Yeah…this'll take some getting used to."

For the next few weeks, after revealing his pregnancy to the entire park gang (that included Thomas!), Mordecai was relieved. Everyone was happy for him; slightly shocked and disturbed, but happy for him nonetheless. They each congratulated him on his "new addition", no matter how unbelievable the situation was.

After a visit to the doctor's office, Mordecai had found out he was six months pregnant, nearing his seventh month. The doctors had no physical, mental, or extraterrestrial explanation for Mordecai's sudden pregnancy. But, much to Mordecai's surprise, they asked no questions what so ever, nor did the paparazzi want to interfere. This seemed rather odd, but it was still a good thing. Nobody wanted the starry-eyed, gossiping press to hear about their personal lives, especially in a situation like this one was.

About a month after finding out he was pregnant, Mordecai had confronted Margaret with the news. Of course she was in disbelief over the phone, but once she saw his stomach, not to mention the ultrasound pictures, she threw her arms around him and wrapped him in a big hug, careful not to squish his large stomach. Contrary to incredulity, Margaret promised that she and Eileen would come to the baby shower that was in a few weeks.

As Mordecai struck his eight month and nearing the end of his third trimester, as promised, a baby shower was held at none other than, you guessed it, at the park. By this point in time, Mordecai's stomach had increased in size, and the guests (especially Mordecai's mother) were more interesting than feeling kicks than celebrating the actual shower. Mordecai's youngest cousin, Marlene, was enamored with his stomach, playing with it, talking to it, and even singing her favorite lullaby to the baby.

"I think he or she likes you, Marlene," Mordecai smirked. Marlene giggled, "I hope it's a girl! If it's a girl, can her name be Jessica?!" The blue jay chuckled and patted his stomach, "Maybe."

More time had flown by, and Mordecai was now only a few days away from his due date. Skips had predicted what day the baby would most likely be born on, what time, and especially where. Skips and Benson had arranged a home-birth for the baby, held at none other than the park, inside the house. Skips suggested that a natural birth would be healthier for Mordecai and the baby other than drugging them both up with pain killers. Mordecai planned a water birth just to ease the pain more, but Skips only thought of that as another bad idea.

So, now the baby's birth location was going to be on Mordecai's bed. A rather bad place, but there was really no other option.

More time swept by, and this particular Monday afternoon was one to remember.

"AAAH!" Mordecai screamed and threw his head back, panting as camouflaged beads of sweat coursed down his face. "Come on Mordecai, you can do this!" Benson coached, gripping Mordecai's hand while Rigby clutched the other. Unfortunately for the raccoon, his hand wasn't made out of metal like Benson's, so he felt immense pain as his hand turned purple. He groaned.

"Don't even try it! You have no worldly idea how much pain I'm in, dude!" Mordecai snapped. Rigby sighed/whimpered as he continued to cajole Mordecai through the birth. Skips looked down and his eyes widened, "Mordecai, you just gotta give me one more push! I can see the baby crownin'!"

At that moment, Mordecai bared down like a real trooper and pushed with all of his might. While he did, he let out a blood-curdling scream. After what felt like the longest minute in the world, his screams were blended in with a different cry: the wail of a baby taking in its very first breaths.

As soon as he felt the baby leave his body, Mordecai fainted onto the bed, his short, jagged intakes of air slowing down as he felt instant relief. "You did it, dude! There's your baby!" Rigby grinned. He took one glance at the bloody infant and flinched at the sight of the red liquid. He immediately passed out on the spot.

About ten minutes after the birth, Mordecai and Rigby both had awoken. Rigby first. When he opened his eyes, he looked over to see Skips feeding the infant his very first meal from a baby bottle. The blanket had obscured the infant's face, so Rigby could hardly get a view of the child.

While Pops laid a cold cloth onto Mordecai's head, the blue jay had consequently woken up as well, smiling as Skips fed the baby. "Wow…" He managed to breathe out as Skips handed the baby, who was still nursing his bottle, to him.

Yes, the baby was a boy. A cute, sweet little boy.

"Rigby, come and look at him," Mordecai cooed. Rigby compiled and ran over to the bedside, standing up on his toes to get a better view. The blue jay peeled the blankets away, and after a flash of light, a fat green human baby laid in the folds of the blanket. The baby was a smaller, naked version of Muscle Man.

"You know who else just had a baby?" The green baby spoke in Muscle Man's exact voice. "MY MOM!" He cooed up at Mordecai and reached for the smiling blue jay's beak. Rigby gasped and let out a scream, just as he woke up.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The raccoon sat up, bleary-eyed. He blinked his eyes that were stinging with tears to see where he was. He was in his bedroom, lying on his trampoline bed. He glanced over at Mordecai, who was also fast asleep in bed. Quiet as a mouse, Rigby crept over to the bedside and hastily ripped a portion of the blanket away from Mordecai's midsection.

Much to the raccoon's relief, there was no sign of a bump, nothing at all that would indicate that Mordecai had ever been pregnant at all.

It was all just a dream.

A nightmare, to be clear.

"Thank grilled cheese," Rigby sighed in relief, using his favorite saying. He scampered back over to his bed and curled up into a fetal position, letting as many dirty clothes as possible weigh him down. He shuddered slightly at the memory of the dream and closed his eyes.

(( **Didn't expect that, now did you?! Ha! I'd never write something like this! …Until now. ****:P**** Hope you liked this mini troll-fic, and please no flaming!** ))


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